Our first Christmas without you

This is our first Christmas without you, there was a void, a surreal emptiness beyond  comprehension.  I am here writing you this because I miss you so bad.  My heart is aching for me and the kids, they don't understand yet the magnitude of your loss.

Tomorrow you won't be here, to help your son with his new toys, to put the batteries in some of them, to tech how to build or how to ride or just to enjoy his surprised face.  We all are grieving inside, our hearts are broken in pieces wondering why, why this year, why so young, why you, why us, why?...why? I hope you are celebrating today Jesus Birthday  right beside Him and the Apostles, that is the ultimate comfort, knowing that you are in Heaven looking after us, because you were not physically but spiritually here, I felt your presence among us and that comfort me.  I love you, your kids love you, Merry Christmas my love.

Hoy hace cuatro meses que te nos fuiste de nuestro lado.  Es Navidad y no te tenemos cerca para abrazarte.  El mundo pareciera seguir girando, nada se detiene, la musica, el comercio, el consumismo, todo sigue igual...

Algunas veces me siento aislada de todo este bullicio,  mi alma se quedo frizada en el tiempo, en aquel dia de Agosto que cambio nuestras vidas para siempre.  Es como una pelicula que pasa por la mente una y otra vez, como si no tuviera final.  La eternidad es el final, el dia que podamos reunirnos contigo querido Alvaro, el dia que veamos tu linda cara sonreir otra vez, ese dia podremos decir que esta pesadilla llego a su final.

Te amamos querido esposo, padre, hermano, hijo y amigo, y aunque el mundo siga girando, nosotros  seguiremos amando y extranando la gran persona que fuiste en esta tierra y la  marca que dejaste en nuestros corazones nunca sera borrada.  We love you Varo...

Wondering

Wondering why you left so quickly? and why it was so sudden?
It's hard to go through this without you! But I know that you want us to go on and that we can only do it by faith in God (honestly I don't really know how to do that).

Although I wish that I could wake up from this, I know I have to accept it and know that it is God's will and that you are resting in his eternal peace. Truth is that I miss you a lot, we all do! You'll always be in our hearts and that no one can take from us.

God help us to go on, we need You! Bring healing to our hearts.

I miss you

Varo, I miss you so much..........I want to hear your voice one more time........
you are always in my mind and heart, you will always be a part of our lives and we will keep your memory alive in us.......my heart breaks in pieces when I want to see you and I confront the reality that you are not alive in this earth,,,, but I rejoice when I think that you are only sleeping and in the presence of our heavenly Father and you are worshiping him. Calling him Santo, Santo, Santo ................

I have the assurance that I will see you again and that is balsamo a mi ser.....

Te amo y extrano mucho!!
Tu murruca dedos chatos........

Poema

A poem I came across...it evokes how we all feel.

Si lagrimas pudieran construir una escalera.
Y las memorias un carril, yo pudiera caminar directo al cielo,
y traerte de vuelta aqui.

No hubieran palabras de despedida
No hubo tiempo para decir "adios"
Te fuiste antes que yo supiera,
Y solo Dios sabe la razon.

Mi corazon aun arde de tristeza,
Y todavia brotan lagrimas secretas.
Lo que significo amarte - nadie nunca lo sabra.

Pero ahora se que tu deseas que deje de sufrir por ti.
Para recordar todos los momentos felices.
Porque aun queda mucho por vivir.

Ya que nunca vas a ser olvidado
Yo te prometo desde hoy - un lugar sagrado en mi corazon
En donde siempre vas a existir.

Missing you greatly!!!

Hermano del alma

Song by Marc Anthony, reminds me of you. Missing dearly!!!

Tú eres mi hermano del alma, realmente el amigo.
Que en todo camino y jornada está siempre conmigo.
Aunque eres un hombre aún tienes alma de niño.
Aquel que me da su amistad su respeto y cariño.

Recuerdo que juntos pasamos muy duros momentos.
Y tú no cambiaste por fuertes que fueran los vientos.
Es tu corazón una casa de puertas abiertas.
Tú eres realmente el más cierto en horas inciertas.

En ciertos momentos difíciles que hay en la vida.
Buscamos a quien nos ayude a encontrar la salida.
Y aquella palabra de fuerza y de fe que me has dado.
Me da la certeza que siempre estuviste a mi lado.

Tú eres el amigo del alma que en toda jornada.
Sonrisa y abrazo festivo a cada llegada.
Me dices verdades tan grandes con frases abiertas.
Tú eres realmente el más cierto en horas inciertas

No preciso ni decir
Todo eso que te digo
Pero es bueno así sentir
Que eres tú mi gran amigo

No preciso ni decir
Todo eso que te digo
Pero es bueno así sentir
Que yo tengo un gran amigo...

You're always in my heart!

I'll never love anyone the way I love You

This is a poem once I gave you and is written on present time, but even thought you're not in this Earth anymore I still feel (and always will) this way about you:

I'll never love anyone the way I love You

In loving you, I have experienced
the happiness, the hurt,
the feeling of forever,
the need to be with you and love you.
It's all here inside of me.
It's you I always think about,
It's you I always miss,
and it will always be you,
because you are the one I love.
To me, love means forever.
No one will ever take your place
or know me as you do.
You always know what I'm thinking
and what I'm feeling deep down.
I'll never love anyone
the way I love you.

By Geralynne Dodgen

Dreaming with You

Last night you were in my dreams, not once but twice. It was a gift from God!
We were reuniting, I'm not sure if you're coming back or if I was meeting you.
I saw you and my heart leap with JOY, I ran to you and asked " is that you, Varo??".
You answered "Yes, it's me!" and you have me a great hug. I had the same dream twice.
It was so great to see you, even if for now it's only in my dreams.

Missing you!

I miss you...

Tonight Alvaro, I am here in front of the computer thinking about you, so many memories, so many dreams...Our lives were separated physically but my heart and my soul are still attach to yours. No dead can rip me apart from you, no dead can keep me from loving you like I do, no dead can make me forget about you...nothing will ever change. One day, when my time comes I'll be there where you are, holding your hand for the rest of eternity.
Good night my love!

World Cup 2014

"Brazil, which has won the World Cup a record five times, is chosen to host the event in 2014..."

I just read this and thought of you, Varito! You would be excited about these news! I'm sure you'd dream of going there for World Cup. I remember for USA World Cup we went to a game in Miami. You loved it. I'm sure you were living your dream through all those players. I miss you!

Perhaps I can there in your memory!

Love you always!

My b-day without you

Como te extrano....veo tu foto en mi sala y no puedo creer que dejaste este cuerpo mortal....pero se que vives en el Espiritu........recibi un arreglo de flores my lindo en toronto.....pero quebranto mi ser de dolor al ver que la targeta tenia todos los nombres menos el tuyo........fue una realidad my dolorosa en confrontarme con la realidad de que estamos separados fisicamente.............pero se que Dios tiene un plan y proposito en todo aunque quizas nunca lo entendamos y la esperanza de volvernos a encontrar algun dia......

Todos te amanos y te extrananos mucho!!!

la murruca dedos chatos......(Johana)

Abismal es el lamento de tu partida
dime cielo si tu indigo viste el eco de tu
nueva voz, y no dejes que la sombra de
agosto invada el frajil refugio de mi
esperanza que aguarda el llamado de
nuestro nuevo despertar

Our Magazine - 240SX MAGAZINE

This will be the cover, just like we planned. I love this shot... So close, man...So close...

God willing, I will continue to fight hard to get this to print. I won't give up until I see this at the Publix, Kroger, Barnes & Noble magazine racks. Going to NOPI this year with out you was so hard bro... Anyhow, I hope you get to read it in Heaven. I have your "Bargain bin" article ready for when this happens, it will be in there just like we planned.

Even though you are gone, we still a team.

I was listening to P-Diddy, and never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined I would be posting on a blog about your life. Anyhow, it sums up how I feel, so I will quote it below.

Its kinda hard with you not around (yeah)
Know you in heaven smilin down (eheh)
Watchin us while we pray for you
Every day we pray for you
Til the day we meet again
In my heart is where I'll keep you friend
Memories give me the strength I need (uh-huh) to proceed
Strength I need to believe
My thoughts big I just can't define (can't define)
Wish I could turn back the hands of time
Us in the M3, shop for new clothes and kicks
You and me taking flicks
Makin hits, stages they receive you on
I still cant believe you're gone (can't believe you're gone)
Give anything to hear half your breath (half your breath)
I know you still living youre life, after death

Gina says "No picture!"

Here you are trying to get Gina to let me take her picture. I have a sequence of shots here, and we finally did get her picture. Good work, bro. Oh yeah, there are some of you holding the Piñata ha-ha!

I saw an R32 today, had some sweet BBS wheels, all blacked out, nice lip on the wheels...Definitely sweet. Which reminds me, remember taking that GLi out for a drive over at Bill Heard? That was fun, we should have done that more often. What could be sweeter than test driving cars for free? ;)

USA vs Mexico

Alvaro and Mike watching the U.S. vs Mexico Futbol match.












This is right before USA scores to tie the game 1-1...You couldn't wait to call Freddie (MX) to rub it in ha-ha. That was a good game, and it was nice to see the U.S. win, yet again. I should probably get some rest now. Oh yeah, I found some pics of your old Vdub, I'll upload them later. I'm trying to find the one of you holding up the 240SX Magazine banner at NOPI, but I can't seem to find it.

This is from the Wally Opera that Harold referenced earlier.

I'm going to try to find it in Spanish.

Well then? I'll go far away,
as goes the echo from the pious bell
there, amid the white snow;
there, amid the golden clouds;
there, where hope is, hope,
regret, regret, and sorrow!

O my mother's joyous house,
Wally will go away from you,
from you so far away
and perhaps to you, perhaps to you
never she will return,
nor you will see her again!
nevermore, nevermore!

I'll go alone and far away,
as is the echo of the pious bell,
there, amid the white snow;
I'll go, I'll go alone and far away!
and amid the golden clouds!

'Tis well! my way lies yonder!
I hear afar the snowy mountains calling;
Forth to their heights I wander,
Forth to the sunset glow;
'Tis they shall calm the sorrow, calm the sorrow,
This heart alone, this heart alone may know.

Oh! peaceful cottage,
Dear home of my childhood,
The mountains are calling me!
Alas! I now must leave thee!
And nevermore,
And nevermore shall mine eyes fondly behold thee!
Home that I love so dearly.
Farewell! farewell!

'Tis well! my way lies yonder;
I can hear the snowy mountains calling;
Forth to their heights I wander;
Farewell! farewell! home of my childhood!
Farewell for evermore!

Increible

Que increible que ya no estes. Estan doloroso leer todos estos bloques, parece mentira que ya no estes entre nosotros. Pero tu recuerdo y todo tu amor permanese vivo en nosotros. Te extrano mucho pero se que estas en el ceno de nuestro Padre Celestial y eres feliz con el. Eso me llena de paz y gozo que puedo estar tranquila sabiendo que algun dia todos estaremos juntos y nunca mas nos separaremos.

Te amo mucho

tu hermana Joha

Amado e inolvidable hijo

(This was posted as a comment, but I thought it should be reposted in the blog)

Amado e inolvidable hijo: queremos decirte gracias,gracias,gracias mil veces gracias por este maravilloso legado que nos dejaste de amor,de humildad,y de sonrisas.
Gracias por esas palabras que nos expresabas cuando estabas vivo: te amo mucho papá ,papá tu eres un hombre trabajador ,te quiero mucho viejito lindo, mamá te admiro mucho ,mamá eres una gran mujer de fé ,mamá sería el día más feliz de mi vida llegar con Gina,Adriana y Eric de sorpresa a la panadería ,viejita linda te quiero mucho ,tu abuela Esther te dice gracias por que antes de morir le escribiste y le mandaste unos regalos .
Hijo amado queremos que sepas que Gina continuará siendo nuestra Hija como tú lo decidiste cuando estabas vivo, ya que siempre nos decías que pareciamos más tus suegros que tus padres.Gracias por ese amor que le expresaste a tu hija Adrianita por medio de una tarjeta antes de tu partida ,gracias por ese cumpleaños que le celebraste a Eric en grande,gracias por ese amor inconmensurable que le expresaste a Gina minuto a minuto,gracias por ese amor grande que le tenías a tus hermanos,cuñados(Jovanka y freddy) y sobrinos,gracias por esa vida que diste a las personas que recibierón tus órganos ,gracias por ese testimonio que dejaste en tus trabajos y a tus hermanos de la Iglesia a tus vecinos tanto en Miami como en Atlanta,gracias por ser un gran héroe ganando la batalla que te dió la entrada al cielo .
con amor infinito,
tus padres Alvaro y Olga

Dorito

I miss you very much! I almost wish that I wasn't writing this, but how could I not? I wish that instead I could be here in Atlanta having fun with you. Reminiscing all the good times and the stories we always shared. Laughing and laughing so much at the stories of dad's "destruyanlo todo!", Joha's "cara de torta", Harold's "melcocha" and of course you calling me "bubble lips or labios de burbuja". It is painful to lose you. To think that you are gone is almost too painful to bare. But despite the pain that I have in my heart, I KNOW that you are in a better place, you are resting with our heavenly Father and Creator. I don't understand the complexity of this all. All I can say is that God is in control.

Varo, you will never be forgottoned! You were a great brother to me. We had so many great times together that are forever engraved in my heart. Childhood memories of when we used to play baby bear and mama bear (of course you were the baby so that I could pamper you even though you were twice my height!) and American gladiator among so many others. You were always great to me! I wish you were still here but I know that I have to let you go and rest in peace.

Varo, I see you smiling at me when I close my eyes and I hear your loving voice in my heart. I will love you forever. And one day we shall join you in and suffer no more.

Love,
Olguita

Bien Hermano,

Ebbene? ... N'andrò lontana,
come va l'eco della pia campana,
là, fra la neve bianca;
là, fra le nubi d'or;là, dov'è la speranza,
la speranzail rimpianto, il rimpianto, e il dolor!

desde que supe de tu partida, no pasa un dia sin que mis lagrimas enfrien mi rostro en su recorrido. sin embargo, estoy contento porque se que descansas donde el sufriento ya no levanta su vuelo.
te quiere siempre tu hermano.

Harold

Pintor...

Oye Pintor!

Buenos dias....Con el pintor por favor? Confirmando que usted es el pintor?

I miss you bro, I wouldn't even know where to begin to write about you. So many good times, sad times, hard times, and all that other jazz. Anyhow, I am watching this right now, thinking about you in class with Mr. Iwassasour looking at us like complete weirdos shouting "PINTOR" every time he flipped a power point slide.

Here's the vid for those that are not familiar with el "pintor." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IonsZBrLke4

To my loving brother AL

Varo, I love you and miss you so much. Words can not express all the emotions I feel for you. Have a wonder Birthday with your creator and with apostle John. It is so amazing to think that you already know all of them. We miss you so much..............We all love you and will remember you forever. Freddy will keep his golf shoes in remembrance of all the memories that he has of you. I can stop looking at your pictures and see how a life you look there. I'm so happy the Lord gave me the opportunity to always be there for you and I know you know how much I love you.

Happy Birthday baby brother..........

love Johana

Happy Birthday Al

Hoy es tu cumpleaños, Happy Birthday.

Today is a very special day here on Earth and in Heaven. Thirty three years ago in Guatemala, a great woman was giving birth to you Alvaro. Eric ask me were we will sending you the presents. He is very excited about the balloons, he picked them yellow. I don't know if you'll see them, I hope so. We're releasing them in the sky; it'll will give us the sense of reaching you, and that's what we want...to be close to you.
We love you Alvaro and forever will...

Gina, Adri and Eric

My love

Alvaro my love,

This blog is dedicated to you. I am extremely sad to come here and write things about you, but I wanted in some way to get started and the best way is to say that I love you and I always will. Me and the kids miss you every second of the day, there is no words that can explain your absence...so I hope all your family and friends can come here and feel free to express you the love and respect you deserve. I'll love you forever....